Nineteen

Assemble a cast, and then call it ‘Me’. Take it to school and teach it how to read, maybe how to live, then make it fall in love, and teach it to die. The die has been cast, now call that My Character.   Here’s what you must know about my Character, it rings cruel. … More Nineteen

Eighteen

I clean out my house before my dealer gets here, afraid he’ll see I’m falling apart. It’s the same thing every two weeks. I’ll hide my depression in a pretty dress or the bottom of my tongue, but I fear he senses my darkness. Mine is a shy kind of darkness. My neighbour knocks on … More Eighteen

Seventeen

On a bus, on my way home from work, I think of reasons why I should keep alive. I know, the suicide talk is getting kinda old, but I figure if I do enough of it, I’ll outgrow it and move on to something else. Like the music that plays on the radio seventy times … More Seventeen

Sixteen

Have you ever died back to life? Or dreamt yourself back to reality? No? What then, do you do, with each breath you pretend to take. Between the cracks on the window, the beggar on your morning route, the mechanical fucking, what do you fear? What are your pauses made of? When you write your … More Sixteen

Fifteen

There are some moments, mostly when you’re a fucked up mess, on the brink of giving up, that pick you up at the door, shake you out and fold you back neatly. Last night I had one of those. Couldn’t sleep. My new neighbor has a new girl and is it weird that I can … More Fifteen

The House

i Mother says there are locked rooms inside all women; kitchen of lust, bedroom of grief, bathroom of apathy. Sometimes the men – they come with keys, and sometimes, the men – they come with hammers. […] iv I point to my body and say Oh this old thing? No, I just slipped it on. […] … More The House

Fourteen

Anna* says she lost her virginity before she got her first period. What’s the one thing, she asks, that fills you up but leaves you empty? They gave her a doll to show where she was touched. She tore the doll up, she says, then did not talk for a month after. Maybe it was … More Fourteen